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lyrics

If men could get pregnant
Contraception would be a basic right
Access to birth control would never be cut
No one would say you only need it cause you're a slut
The pill would be the easy method favored
And it would be free and bacon-flavored

If men could get pregnant
About sex ed we wouldn't be so uptight
States wouldn't make up legal contortions
To prevent men from having safe legal abortions
And a real effective morning after pill, you know
Would've been invented a hundred years ago

If men could get pregnant
They'd decide exactly when they want to conceive
There'd be cool pregnancy comfort devices
Stretch marks would be a national health crisis
About natural childbirth, men wouldn't give heck to me
It would be as rare as natural vasectomy

If men could get pregnant
They'd get two years paid maternity leave
They'd proudly breast feed in public, and not cower
They'd wanna show off their size and squirting power
So as for women's choice, I hope men view it
By thinking about what if they had to do it
This reproductive battle, we'd've already won it
If men could get pregnant
The world would be a better place - cause women would run it!
If men could get pregnant (just kidding not really)

credits

from Guess I Picked The Wrong Week To Quit Sniffing Glue, released December 1, 2016

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Lauren Mayer San Mateo, California

Lauren Mayer (a.k.a. Psycho Super Mom) is a political comedy satiric songwriter who writes weekly topical songs about politics, life, and sleep deprivation. She is an award-winning songwriter/ cabaret performer & a graduate of Yale University, and her mother still doesn't understand why she didn't go to law school. ... more

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