Dear Internet Trolls
Thanks for taking so much time
to tell me I'm a worthless jerk And you hate my work
But even folks who don't like my videos do count
So you and your pals have really goosed my view count
Though you think my writing and singing sucks
You helped me make a few extra bucks
And you might think that I'd think your comments are scary
But clearly you just need a hug, and a dictionary

Dear Internet Trolls Gosh you really sound upset
and you wanna get it off your chest But I'm not impressed
Your anti-Semitic, sexist slurs would be more compelling
If you could be bothered to check your spelling
As for using foul language to knock me
I've raised teenage sons so it's hard to shock me
You might think that I'd think your comments are scary
But clearly you just need a hug, and a dictionary and a good therapist

Some of what you say may seem hateful
But for making me feel famous, I'm grateful
And I don't wanna sound shrill myself
But you & your friends have already suggested
plenty of possible methods to kill myself - (so I'm good, thanks)

Dear Internet Trolls
Do you think the way you belly-ache is gonna make me disappear?
Sorry, I'm still here
And I know what's behind the misbehaving around your tricks
Showing off for each other by waving around your . . . words
If what I create makes you hate & deplore it
You know you could always just ignore it
So don't think that I think your comments are scary
Clearly you just need a hug, and a dictionary - and a good therapist
- and a job - and a social life - and a remedial English class
- and some serious medication
- and something constructive to do with what's clearly too much
free time on your hands - and a teddy bear - and a lollipop . . . .