Crimea River

by Lauren Mayer

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An updated torch song lamenting all the Trump campaign's ties to Russia (PARODY OF "CRY ME A RIVER", under Fair Use)


Now Trump tries refutin'
his obvious Russia ties
Well, he can Crimea River, Crimea River
I see right through his lies

His strange praise of Putin
Otherwise makes no sense
It's like a Crimea River, that makes me shiver
Way beyond coincidence

If there is nothing there with all these contacts
Then what is Trump trying to hide?
And when he rails against the obvious facts
The defensiveness of his denying
Sure makes it look like he's lying

Tweets about leaks, he's shootin'
But I'd just like to note
Blaming this Crimea River on facts reporters deliver
Is like blaming Watergate on Deep Throat

He pilloried Hillary for email, but now
This scandal is so much worse
Seems half of Donald's staff has ties to Moscow
And of proof there's a profusion
Showing his campaign's collusion

Soon we could be bootin' (him out of office)
From growing evidence
Of this huge Crimea River, without a sliver
Of an impeachment defense
But then we're stuck with Mike Pence!




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Lauren Mayer San Mateo, California

Lauren Mayer (a.k.a. Psycho Super Mom) is a political comedy satiric songwriter who writes weekly topical songs about politics, life, and sleep deprivation. She is an award-winning songwriter/ cabaret performer & a graduate of Yale University, and her mother still doesn't understand why she didn't go to law school. ... more

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